Accoutrements of Femininity

Last week I had a cosmic 2x4 hit me with insight into myself and who I've become. I had spent a good deal of time preparing the room, lighting and camera issues in order to shoot myself. i enjoy this. It's cool when you don't have an impatient model waiting for you :)

Finally, I had things set to where I felt comfortable to get things rolling. I had been nude when setting things up and it was time to don my outfit to shoot in. I put on my stockings and boots. Checking in the mirror, I had slight shift from looking at myself as "me" as I usually do, to looking at the model from a photographer's standpoint to see what I had to work with.

However subtle, it hit me with a cosmic 2x4. The stuff looked good. I was wearing it well. I noticed the work I've done on my legs and butt and how the stockings "looked right". The boots too. My skin had a slight sheen and looked smooth and tight. It wasn't like seeing it as fetish wear, but being able to appreciate how far I've gone and the work that I've done on myself. I felt a certain degree of pride and accomplishment. The years of hormones, the sweat and pain in the gym, the healthy lifestyle food choices... finally felt like it was paying off.

I'm working on getting the "X shape" or superhero look and have a way to go, but I've got to try to remember that feeling when I'm too tired to work out, or want a slice of pizza. The other thing is that I promised myself to buy more things that might not be practical, but that just look good as a sort of celebration or to reward myself for all of this. Busting my butt 24/7, there's got to be some time to enjoy it all. Balance.