Buzzkill

Mid May, another night in a suite at the Four Seasons Palo Alto. My friend had to leave in the evening so I had to occupy myself. Left with a good chardonnay and some toys, I made the best of being alone as one might imagine. I was incredibly horny and practiced loving myself in a very healthy but devious way. At some point though, I really wished I had someone with me and would've loved to have been ravaged and taken. Still, I made the best of the situation.


The bed's at the 4S are incredible and I hadn't slept so well since the last time I was there. My futon has lacked since day one. They sell the mattresses and box springs but they are almost $3000. I woke up feeling extremely horny; I guess I hadn't played myself out completely or I was just riding an erotic wave. I woke wrapped in an incredible comforter and really noticed how wonder the bed felt and I in it. Turning over, I dragged myself against the bed, drawing my body across it like a snake. It was so good. A quick snap with the camera left next to the bed (the shot above). The sun was glowing in through the curtains, it was warm, I was surrounded in white, my skin looked very tan and all was wonderful. I was totally in the moment.

I took stock of everything and was very grateful. Everything was just as I could want... if I had had someone there with me. Beyond that, I was very cognizant of my surroundings and of myself. I appreciated me for me. I was so high - I was blissed. I'm thinking back now to how I felt and I can still see or feel it like a footprint in the sand, but I can't really put to words that moment. Blissed - that's the best I can do. I wish that was every morning, every moment. I decided that this is the way I want to feel and I need to do what I must to feel this way. This was better than any drug or anything outside could make me feel. It was a crucial moment and I'm still learning from it.


Eventually, I made it out of bed and took a luxurious shower. I love rain shower heads and the shower also had a removable wash head :) I put it to good use. I don't have the water pressure in my place to have one work effectively. I love the character of my Victorian San Francisco flat, but an opulent bathroom it doesn't have, and it's something I've always loved.

I ended up loving myself again on the floor and continued in the shower. I came violently hard as I quenched my morning horniness. I remember fantasizing about being taken in the shower

After finally getting myself somewhat together, I had breakfast of a protein shake and the fresh fruit platter. My friend had instructed me to order room service and I would've loved the egg white omelette with spinach, tomato and mozarella, but eating fruit for breakfast leaves me feeling light and energetic. I had two 1.5 hour massage clients booked for the afternoon and didn't want to feel heavy. As I stared out the window to the law firm across the way, I caught the eye of a young guy in what I assume was his office. He was staring directly back at me. I didn't know how much he could see of me through the light curtains and I didn't care. I ate my breakfast just watching him and wondering what he was thinking. When I was finished, I got up very slowly and "may have" brushed the curtain open a bit.

I finally get it together and check out. While walking through the lobby, another woman walks out with me. We're both pulling out luggage, she's in a blouse and pants and I'm in one of my favorite dresses. She looks classy and refined. I'm feeling good as I'm holding my own with her in my own way and style.

("I'm going to count backwards from 10. When I reach 1, you'll be fully awake and out of your state of bliss.")

As we reach the parking lot, she gets into a late model white Mercedes. I walk up to my old VW.

"10, 9... "

I open the trunk and put my things in. I walk over to the door ad the remote lock isn't working.

"8... "

OK, so I fiddle with it. It's not working. I'm afraid to use the key as it doesn't turn and I don't want to break it off in the lock.

"7... "

I start to dig for my AAA card when I realize the trunk opens.

"6... "

I wait until Ms. Mercedes has left the lot, and then walk to the back of my car. I open the hatchback, take a scan around to make sure no one is around and proceed to crawl through the trunk of my car.

"5, 4, 321! Boom!"

All of the bliss of my morning is gone. I'm lower than before. I feel embarrassed, dropped down, silly and upset all at once. I make a decision.

Car starts and I sheepishly leave the lot. Damn.